When Zombies Attack!!…..except not really…

Would you look at that, we’ve made it to another month and haven’t disappeared on hiatus again(sorry about that). I will cut to the chase, there is no way for me to do daily blog entries given my schedule. It’s just not possible, so if I happen to disappear for a few days or weeks. It either means I’m too busy or nothing of particular interest has happened unless you want another “My boring life” entry again. Which, let’s be honest, nobody wants. I don’t want to write it and you don’t want to read it, fair enough? Since we are in agreement I will try to do monthly posts at the very least. Though if it takes awhile, remember that patience is a virtue people. It will come when it comes. Now enough of this twaddle; time to explain what happened in my this little misadventure. This was yet another request for my skills in detection. To be honest, I wasn’t really interested in the task, but it did prove to be mildly entertaining. So to the Ladies and Gentleman reading this, I hope this unconventional tale is enough to entertain you. Now, let the story begin.

It was in late October 2014; during this time you can begin to see some Halloween decorations appearing. I had arrived at my college campus, since due to circumstances I can’t share, I was no longer living there and became a commuter. As I got out of my mother’s car, I began texting Major as to where we will be meeting. On my way to the location,  I noticed a lot more people walking through this path than usual. Did classes just end for them so soon? I have wondered this thought in my head since the path I usually take wasn’t littered with people until designated times of class starting or ending. I didn’t care enough to pursue the thought any further as I was already lost on my phone by texts. That was until I suddenly pulled my head up and noticed one of my friends trying to get my attention, thus entering Jiminy.

Jiminy is, what you would say, an eccentric and somewhat introverted fellow. Though I am certainly not one to talk given that I am probably one of the weirdest introverts out there. Even so, Jiminy was kind of the moral backing of our group of four, much to our annoyance at times. For example, when we pulled minor gags in the library and he had threatened us to stop, even though he didn’t have to tag along. I was reluctant considering I was mostly watching Major and Ed as they carried on with their stunts, but that is a story for another time. Even so, I have a lot more tolerance towards him unlike the others for other reasons I will not say. As I walked up to Jiminy I noticed a red substance on his face and that he was with somebody else. Will call him Kamina, because I don’t remember WHO IN THE HELL THIS GUY WAS, and I saw him with the Gurren Lagann jacket before(tee hee).

“What up Jiminy,” I said with a wave. “Gragr…groan blargh…” Is what Jiminy chooses to respond with. What in the hell? Is the first thought to appear in my mind. While confused, I tried to greet him again, only to be greeted back by “Gragag…graan grex” ……. I was at a loss for words as to what he was saying. I then looked toward Kamina in hopes of an explanation. “Yeah the reason for this is because he is acting like a zombie.” Because that makes sense “Why is he acting like a zombie?” I asked Kamina curiously with an eyebrow raised. Kamina explained that they both had joined a Zombie survival game that people play around campus. This game was in honor of Halloween fast approaching. I remembered they played this same game last year. It might have been called zombiefest or something don’t care enough to remember. Jiminy and Kamina were both on the zombie side during the game. Kamina then stated “Jiminy is very dedicated to his act” Perhaps a little too dedicated… I soon decided to depart as I had a meeting with major. I tried to to offer Jiminy a chance to join me but, he just responded in a Zombie dialect. So I waved as I thought; I really hope this Jiminy doesn’t get too carried away. I soon dispelled this thought as I made my way to Major.

In the pool room(billiards) I found Major playing by himself. “Oh, hey X”, said Major exhaustedly. “Damn, you look like hell”, I said bluntly. I couldn’t help but notice his apparent exhaustion. His hair looked extremely mess as if he just got up out of bed. It seems between work and studying, Major really had time to sleep or get any proper down time. Taking note of this, I grab a stick and we play a few games of pool. I was winning for the most part because he kept sinking in the eight ball by accident which made me erupt in laughter and him in anger every time that happened. During our final game we chewed the fat a little as we played; he was on his second to last ball. “You know Jiminy is in that zombiefest game?” I said while looking for the ball I should hit next. “I had no idea to be honest”, Major said shaking his head. I explained to him the encounter I had with Jiminy. “I don’t know about that guy” Major shook his head at my explanation. “I thought you guys would know, since you live with him, tch”, I said a bit vexed I had scratched the ball. “I knew nothing of this..been too busy” Major readily lined up his shot, asking me “So I take it nothing else new happened?” I shook my head until… “DAMNIT!!!!” Major had sunken the eight ball much to his dismay. “Looks like I win again Major” I smirked. “Tch, whatever I got to work anyway” “I’ll walk with you” With that our game came to an end and we headed out to the library where Major worked.

As we walked out into the bustling wind, Jiminy decided to reappear near us. Major tried saying hello, but was quickly bombarded with his gibberish. Major and I exchanged glances as if contemplated what to do next. This is exactly what I meant. In the end, we just kept walking, while I couldn’t help but notice that Jiminy looked more disheveled than I had remembered. Is he really that dedicated to this game? Jiminy was trying to get our attention to ask us something. However, Major kept on walking not wanting to bother with his makeshift language anymore. I relented and decided to decipher what he wanted. I refuse to write the exact conversational process it took us to figure out what he was saying, it was like playing charades while the wind was blowing. In addition, my patience was wearing ever so thin. It seemed Jiminy wanted to ask us if we knew where one of the survivors of the game were. Major and I both said no as we made it to the library. I waved to Major saying “see ya later” he waved back.

After Major’s departure, I decided to help Jiminy out with his request. I still have some time to kill, might as well. It was a simple stalk and follow job. So Jiminy fills me in on what I needed to know in this case. To put simply the guy he needed to get was hiding out in the main building of the campus and the rules dictate that zombies can’t catch survivors when they are inside a building. I guess this rule prevents utter chaos. So when I got all the info I needed, I went inside scouring the place for the target. It didn’t take me long until I found him in the downstairs cafeteria and to my surprise he was in my PS class. The cafe had a lot of people and the target was surrounded by others at a table. So, me trying to blend in, I wore my hat along with my glasses and swiftly took a newspaper from the rack. I sat at one table away from the target while reading the newspaper; I occasionally looked at the window near me to see when they made a move. Everything was going decently until I saw Jiminy trudging around outside the window pointing attention to himself. What is this idiot doing? In a haste to remedy the situation, I immediately go outside and call out to him before anyone noticed. I found a good blind spot outside where no one could see us talking. I began to tell him the situation and told him I had a plan to flush him out. Once we agreed I texted him the rest of the details. Thank God he doesn’t text the way he speaks. With that I returned to the cafe to set up for act two.

As I returned, my previous seat was now taken so that put a bit of a set back on my part. However, as luck would have it, mariachi band suddenly appeared and was playing music in the cafe. The hell is this? I thought in surprise, but I decided to use this as an advantage. While the band was playing everyone was taking pictures and recording this. So, I used my phone to take a covert picture of the target while the band was playing; I aroused no suspicion. I sent the picture to Jiminy to confirm that was the target, he responded with a yes. Now all that was left was to enact my plan. What was my plan you may ask? Simple it was nothing….SURPRISE!!! I’ll explain, both me and the target had a class together in about less than ten minutes, so all I had to do was wait and text Jiminy when and where he will be leaving. As the target got his skateboard ready to head out the back entrance, I quickly texted Jiminy direction on what to do. After that, the rest was history.

A few minutes later I decided to leave the cafe to head to class. However, I soon noticed the backlash of our(his) actions. Jiminy was off to the side talking to someone while the target was dusting himself off looking very pissed. I didn’t take much of a deduction to figure out what had happened. Please don’t tell me Jiminy… I walked up to Jiminy to find out what happened and it seemed that Jiminy knocked the guy off his skateboard. Just as I had imagined… I thought this while breathing a sigh to myself. The game moderator had to mediate and explain the situation like one of the rules is that you can’t attack a survivor on the street. Jiminy and I both looked surprised because neither of us knew this. “I’m sorry” Jiminy had said apologetically. Now you’re speaking normally? I had apologized as well since I was partly responsible(not really) but nobody but Jiminy knew this so I was clear. The moderator explained that there was such a low turn out on players this year. Honestly I can’t blame the people for turning away because how stuff like this happens. To think I actually thought of playing this last year, not anymore. When that was finished I spoke to Jiminy on the whole matter; he was generally sorry for what happened, but at the same time didn’t think he was completely at fault. “It’s not like I threw him down”, Jiminy said. You knocked him down, same difference. I didn’t say this out loud though. As we spoke Jiminy seemed very thankful for my assistance, despite the outcome. Saying “X, you really have a knack for this” as I appreciated the compliment I looked at the time. “AH I’M LATE!!” I said this in astonishment, I quickly began running at a fast pace while waving to Jiminy saying “SEE YA LATER!!”. Then I was off to catch my PS class as the winds were blowing dead leaves away from my path.

                    Well and that is how I lead a Zombie to his meal. So what do you think folks? Would you consider this a failure on my end or a success? Personally I consider this a success since Jiminy did get his target. Though I will say if a Zombie apocalypse ever broke out I would definitely have fun slaying Zombies. Now if it is an attack of the Mahou Shoujos…..GOD HELP US ALL!!!! I wonder Jiminy learned his lesson after that ordeal? I wonder if I would fair well against a real zombie survival game, Yet I can’t help but think that eggheaded Knucklehead might try to start a real one… but that is for another time. However, with this I leave you, my loyal viewers and be sure to stay safe from all the wandering Ghouls out there (though some make good coffee) and I will see you in the next entry.




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