Well, it is about that time folks…Spring is finally upon us!!! In addition to the change in seasons, there is also a change in perspectives. What once looked to be cold and unfeeling may now seem a bit warmer and more compassionate. However, I suppose that is a trick of nature, the great seasons bring great change and a form of rebirth on many occasions. A cold stare can be just as charming as a warm smile. Though none of this has anything to do with the story I plan to share with you. Not even in the slightest.. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Mr. X and I have brought yet another nonsensical tale.. Featuring a lovely return of my lovely friend. Yes, folks, this will be another one of those stories, where little sense is to be made in my most awkward situations. As always I will try to make it as entertaining as possible, but I warn you this is another ridiculous story.
It was April 7th, a lovely Thursday, nothing too trivial had occurred at all. Having finished my usual schedule for the day, I began to hang out with Major as we both had a bit of free time on our hands. We had a bit of an appointment scheduled to do together, but a few complications had arrived. Basically, we had somewhat of a job/hobby to do, but one of Major’s other jobs conflicted with our schedule. This happened at 10:00 pm at night, I figured his shift wouldn’t take very long, so I decided to tag along major while he worked, especially since there was no rule against me doing so. In the midst of hanging out and talking with Major and his other co-workers I couldn’t help but wonder something as nearly an hour went by. “Major when does your shift end?” I asked cautiously. “I am stuck here till 2 am, dude,” Major stated exasperated. I nearly cringed at the thought. “So I’m stuck here with you for another 5 hours?” I asked with an exhausted sigh.. Major merely nodded with the same annoyance I was feeling.. The Heck am I gonna do for 5 hours. I thought to myself, but as my luck would have it. “I got a text from Usagi?” I was a bit puzzled, but Major, on the other hand, seemed coldly indifferent as he asked: “What does she want?” Usagi was asking me a series of questions pertaining to some research paper. Our exchange kept on for a while until she asked, “Are you good with research papers?” the text read. “Say no!” Major immediately told me “Not unless you wanna get stuck doing that” However, it was much too late as I gave a ‘yes’ as my reply.
Suspecting I was being strung up on a hook again, so I tossed my phone to the side so I could ignore it. Unfortunately, my phone kept receiving massive amounts of text messages. “She seems to be in need of assistance” I casually remarked, “Don’t feed into it, we got stuff to do later after my shift and I can’t have you ditching me with your precious rabbit again,” Major stated in an annoyed tone of voice. So admittedly I may have abandoned Major a few times because Usagi came up as a growing deterrent. However, I assure you, I had no other choice on those occasions. I was the innocent victim here, one time I was forced to eat with her because she held my book I let her borrow as a hostage, and I needed it for a test. So I can attest that these were not pleasure visit, there were all for business. While Major understood this for the most part. He still couldn’t help but still feel slightly upset with me. He personally finds Usagi annoying and for the life of him can’t seem to understand why I put up with her. Neither do I to be honest…. “Why do you sound like Jigen from Lupin the Third?” I asked in a joking manner. “Because you seem to love running off with your Fujiko” Major countered. “I DO NOT!!” I yelled. After a while, the vibrating sound of my phone grew more than I could bear and I began to read the contents Usagi left me…This girl seems to really be in a bind here. Apparently, she really needed help because the week after she would be too busy to work on her paper…. I wasn’t completely sold, but I didn’t want to just outright ignore and abandon her, plus it was better than sitting with Major not doing much of anything. So I decided by flipping a coin “Heads I’ll go help Usagi Tails I stay with Major” you should already know how that game of chance turned out. I told Major I was gonna leave, he seemed annoyed by my decision but let me go. “Be sure to get paid for this up front” Major said firmly. “Oh and be sure to use protection since you gonna have a long night” I wanted to hit him for that remark. However, considering the circumstances, I decided to let it slide…. Major and I agreed that after his shift ends, he’ll come and get me so we could attend to our business….that was supposed to be the plan…So after that I left and texted Usagi that I was on my way, she seemed grateful…. “Please let this not turn out like another misunderstanding” I solemnly muttered to myself.
I finally made it to Usagi’s apartment at 11:30 pm, as usual, I have to wait for Alice to open the gates to wonderland. So I sit and wait patiently till I hear, “X!!” Usagi called out to me. I turned and went inside as she held the door open for me. As we are walking to her room, I take notice of a few things…mainly what she is wearing. Now this isn’t the first time I have gone into her apartment(actually been there a few times). However, this may have been the first time I have seen her in such a….comfortable set of clothing. Usagi was wearing a big boy shirt with some very short shorts showing off her legs. Noticing how this was affecting me, I decided to dismiss it entirely…or try to. We made it to her room, Usagi told me how her other roommates were sleeping so we can’t make any loud noise. I sat down on the couch while she sat around the table with her laptop. She had a very odd sitting posture that my eyes couldn’t ignore. Doesn’t this girl know a thing about modesty, I’M SITTING RIGHT HERE!!! My thoughts were in a daze, but I refused to let it show as I began to take out my own laptop as a means of distracting myself. “Sorry about legs by the way, since I haven’t shaved yet,” She said. “Huh? Your legs look fine to me” I silently chided myself for saying that out loud. Surprised by my statement Usagi began to rub her legs. What? Before I could even voice my thoughts, she says, “My legs are so smooth, you wanna feel them?” What the Hell? Despite the audacious question, I calmly responded with, “I do not think that is a good idea.” Only to be greeted with. “Why? My friends touch my legs all the time.” …This is a bluff, and I’m gonna call it. “Alrighty then,” I said this while standing. Noticing what I was about to go through with her idea, “Nononono I was kidding, I meant mostly my female friends that always think my skin is so smooth.” She said this in a panic. I sat back down thinking to myself, This is going to be a long night..
After those pleasantries were done, Usagi further explained to me the nature of her assignment. Turns out she needed to do a 10-page paper with 9 primary sources in APA format that were due Wednesday of the following week. Usagi stressed how she wanted to get it done or at least a large chunk of it out of the way as she would be to busy during the weekend to finish the paper. After hearing this I was fully prepared to help Usagi, until she said, “X can you do the paper for me please?” in such a tender smile. “Dafuq?” Was my immediate response, which followed up with a “HELL NO!!” I was fully prepared to help her with the assignment, BUT THERE WAS NO WAY IN HELL I WAS GOING TO DO THE WHOLE THING!! I was preparing to leave, she tried to stop me. However, I merely told her, “I am not doing your paper for you, especially not for free, you’re outta your mind.” “Who said for free? I’ll pay you.” She said eagerly. “With what?” I asked curiously. She responds with “I’ll pay you with friendship!” “Goodnight,” I said while heading towards the door. “Ok fine, just help me with the paper please” Usagi pleaded. I relented and said “fine”. Hearing this she made a happy declaration “Now that you helping me, this is officially OUR paper, X!” “The hell it is..now get to work!” I said this feeling annoyed. It then turned 12:30 am and I couldn’t help but notice how Usagi was only staring at her phone the entire time. I eventually asked her why she wasn’t working, which lead to her response, “I’m researching”. Shouldn’t you have done that before I got here? As I thought this, I let out a sigh and continued to goof off on my laptop waiting for her to ask me anything.
Being cramped in such a living space, I Eventually got hungry. So asked if Usagi could spare any food. Turns out all she had to spare, for the most part, was bread. Now while that was a bit upsetting to me at the time, mostly because I was coerced into helping her without any guarantee of some form of payment. I didn’t mind it too much as I thought ahead and bought a muffin. Naturally, I move to the table where Usagi is sitting to eat so I don’t make a mess on the couch. “I’m tired!”, Usagi declared. “Then you shouldn’t have waited so long to do your paper.” I chided. Not even 5 minutes elapsed before this girl decided to practice her handstands. What the heck is this girl doing? Before I could even ask what was thinking she answered. She told me it was to help keep her awake. I was extremely puzzled by her sudden change in action. However, as I was watching Usagi, I began to notice a few things. She was still wearing this big loose fitting guy shirt, so as she stood on her hands, I was treated to quite a lovely view. “Purple..” I said still gazing at her from a vulnerable position. As you can imagine purple was the color of her…well you figure it out. Usagi heard my remark and in a fit of embarrassment, she tucks in her shirt and tells me to “close your eyes and turn around”. I listened, sort of. I did have a muffin to eat and I was hungry and I couldn’t(mostly wouldn’t) exactly eat with my eyes closed. However, I did turn my head around for about 30 seconds until I got bored and continued to watch Usagi make a complete fool of herself.
When that bit of absurdity was finished, Usagi went right back to work on her paper. By that I meant, continuously looking at her phone. It soon dawned on me that while she was on her phone ‘researching’, her laptop was in front of her still on. This appeared to be an odd occurrence so I brought it to her attention. “The Wi-Fi in this place always sucks on my laptop, so I have to rely on my phone,” Usagi told me. I was reluctant to take her word for it, especially since my laptop was working fine despite these conditions. Occasionally, I would try to goad Usagi into doing her work, but it all ended in failure. At this point decided to mind my own business, and forget the matter which soon led me to wonder, WHY THE HELL AM I HERE!? In the midst of thinking these thoughts, God either decided to test my patience that night or try and screw with me. “I think I’ll take a shower soon,” Usagi said with a sigh. What? Before I could process what was said, Usagi merely got out of her chair reaffirming her declaration. Thus proceeding to her room while taking her shirt off. “….” I watch in silence as she leaves. Immediately text Major to let him know the exact nonsense of what’s going on. So I get a text from Usagi telling me to play so music while she is taking a shower. So I begin to hear running water and I have no idea what to do or expect. So I continue to mess around on my laptop, that was until I heard strange noises. ?! I heard a slight moaning which I believed to be coming from the shower. What the hell is she doing in there? As one might expect, my thoughts soon began to wonder as to what could possibly be going on. In addition to continually hearing the strange noises as the shower ran, I couldn’t help but have a few….explicit thoughts. I won’t go into detail, but after mulling over my thoughts I couldn’t help but wonder, Do all girls take showers like that? Of course, I don’t actually believe that nonsense, but moaning noise was distracting and I couldn’t exactly drown out the noise with music because Usagi’s roommates were asleep.
While the shower was continuing to take place, Major finally responded to my texts explaining what I was dealing with. “I’m starting to hate rabbits” Major texted to me. We basically engage in a bit of an argument. Since I wasn’t gonna be able to make our scheduled appointment, Major was beyond livid. “You better be getting laid!!” Major sent in a torrent of text. “Hell no!! What do you take me for?” I objected “If you aren’t getting laid or getting food from her, why the hell are you there?” After Major’s question, I thought for a bit and responded, “She’s my friend you idiot and she asked for my help.” Unfortunately Major was buying it,“Don’t bullshit me, this girl is trying to use you like a damn field hand. This is becoming Yoko Ono!!!”(Props to those who can get this reference). This exchange of ours went on for a bit and ended with Major saying “You owe me for this!” I let out an exhausted sigh as I was contemplating what to do next. The shower was still going on and my previous thoughts kept flooding back. I soon noticed a small musical sound that came from Usagi’s laptop. What exactly was she doing on this thing? With my curiosity peaked, I decided to skim through her laptop. Turns out the source of the music came from her personal playlist of downloaded songs. It consisted of mostly anime songs…. “Typical Usagi” After going through the numerous tabs of information she was trying to gather for her paper, I soon decided to look up more documents to use. Coincidentally, her laptop was working perfectly fine… “This Girl…”
After a while of researching the water soon stopped and the curtains began to move. Immediately my phone began to vibrate with a text. I knew the text was from her, but to be honest, I was hoping it wasn’t. As Major’s words resonated in my head, I looked at my phone and true to form it was Usagi that sent me the text. “Can you do me a favor?” the text read. I soon noticed a long silence from the shower room. Why does this seem like a setup for an H scene? My phone went off again and I looked to see the message…“Can you start typing an outline for the paper on my laptop?” …..I am a fool to expect anything else. After berating myself for a bit, Usagi finally came out the shower fully clothed, but she was still wearing shorts showing off her legs but her shirt wasn’t as loose fitting as the last one it actually looked a bit tighter… “Did you write the outline?” Usagi asked while trying to dry her hair. I was distracted for a moment due how she was glistening a tad after the shower. “Uh…not exactly I was mainly looking up more info you could possibly use for the paper,” I said this while looking at the computer screen. “Oh really? What did you find?” Before I could even answer Usagi’s question, she came to my side to see what I found. Too close!!! I soon found myself staring at a wall to avoid staring at her, forced to inhale her new scent. However, when I took one glance at her I noticed something very important. Is she….is she not wearing….?! “Uh here is your laptop back, feel free to look over the info and get back to me,” I said this while quickly getting up away from her. To her, I was acting weird, but to me, I was avoiding temptation. As she read she soon felt uncomfortable… “Um..I’ll be back,” Usagi said awkwardly. I asked what was wrong and she said, “I feel like my shirt is revealing some change shirts and wear a bra” She just noticed.. “Stop staring at my chest you perv” I immediately rebutted “I’M NOT!!” More and more it was becoming less about business and more into a leisurely visit. How do I get this girl to work already!!!
It was about 2 in the morning and we still haven’t made any progress on Usagi’s paper. When she finally decided to work seriously, she kept asking my opinion on some of the reading materials and forced me to read some articles and give some opinions. Eventually, it boiled down to the fact we couldn’t agree to an opening statement… “X, how would you phrase this sentence?” Usagi asked. “Basically, you can say….” I would respond. This little exchange went on for hours. She would always ask me to either paraphrase or reword a phrase that was is from an article or a book. However, whenever I did so, Usagi would complain that it either didn’t make much sense based on her way of writing or it is too complex to understand therefore I had to simplify it….MULTIPLE TIMES. It was around 4 am that Usagi finally managed to write ONE sentence. So while we try to figure out the rest, Usagi says, “I think that’s enough for now as I’m getting tired.” WHAT? Apparently spending so many hours doing nothing really exhausted Usagi, but to be fair, I was getting extremely tired as well. Now follow me 6 hours of that nonsense, and we only got one sentence done. JUST ONE @#$%! SENTENCE!!!! “I’m going to bed, now you know how to let yourself out right?” Usagi asked. I was a bit angry, but I gave a disgruntled “Yeah..” I did try to convince her to get at least a page done before turning, but she refused and merely walked to her room to sleep while turning off the lights…while I was still in there. Eventually, I left, but I was grumbling and complaining the entire way back to my apartment. “I couldn’t leave the cute girl alone, I just had to go up and talk to her. No, I couldn’t just leave her alone, I had to become friends with her. Even after she gave me a headache with the cops, I still chose to stick around.” I was continuously gripping over this entire mess. Because not only did I waste 6 hours doing practically nothing, I had to also deal with a pissed off Major and trust me that can a massive pain as well. I didn’t sleep until around 5 am having a to deal with a long night and also to prepare for a long day with Major being mad as hell. However, despite all of this, one question came to mind….Why did I…..?
When I awoke, I immediately met up with Major to properly explain the entirety of my absence. Upon hearing my story Major only got more upset, only this time it was mostly directed at Usagi. Major trying to contain himself asked, “So you spent six hours and she only wrote one sentence?” I nodded “Did you get anything out of it at all, food, sex, something?” I shook my head. “Can I ask you a serious question?” I raised my eyebrow as I waited for the Major’s next question. “Why exactly do you put up with her?” I stayed silent while Major continued “I could understand if she was your girlfriend, but…” “I don’t know myself,” I said interjecting. I didn’t like where the conversation was going so I ended with a brief apology. After a period of silence, “Fine whatever, I don’t really care, to be honest, the point is you’re here now so let’s get this show on the road.” I could tell Major was annoyed when he said this, but he was right there was work to be done and we couldn’t afford a pesky rabbit to get in the way of that. So after a brief adjustment, “Alright Major, Showtime!”
Ladies and Gentlemen, that is my nonsensical tale with my loving friend Usagi. Trust me, the tales involving her only get more annoying and nonsensical as the time goes by. However, despite all of that annoyance, I cannot bring myself to completely frown upon them especially the ones I haven’t shared. In a way, despite my apparent annoyance, it feels fun being around Usagi for some reason. Hopefully, I can continue hanging around….err… As my friend, obviously and possibly in a less stressful atmosphere…sigh~ What about you, my lovely readers? Ever had that one friend that’s a pain, but you still love having around? I’m super curious if other people go through this similar annoyance. Oh and to those who might be wondering: Yes, Usagi and I managed to finish her paper, but we were cutting it close with only a couple hours to spare on this. She ended up getting an A. So we pulled it off, by the skin of her teeth. Well, folks, that’s it for me. Feel free to like and share my work if you deem them worthy. No, if you’ll excuse me, I have to find a way to beat this unbearable heat. So until next time, SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ENTRY