You know I always wondered if some of the crazy stories that people tell when in college were true when I was younger. While I cannot speak for those people who love to exaggerate their stories, I can only speak for my own personal encounters(for the most part). However, it has come to my attention as to just what exactly you can find when there is a lack of parental supervision. From ridiculous drug abuse to an absurd amount of sexual endeavors. Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Mr.X and once again I have yet another ridiculous tale of the random happenings in my life. So without further adieu, let us begin the story.
April 30th, 2016, it was nighttime and a bit bleak, but that now that I think about that may have just been my perspective things. I had met up with Major at the time and we were both exhausted from dealing with certain wager we had. Looking to spend the night, Major and I decided to walk towards my apartment. While walking I couldn’t help but fear the room was going to become a landfill again. I lived with two other people, Shaggy and Carlos. They are pretty cool sods to hang out and talk with but at the end of the day they are sods. To give a brief rundown, they are both junkies that occasionally get wasted while having loads of sex and such. Every weekend it is like a Typhoon hit out room with the amount of sin and debauchery that takes place. Which is why during their “party time” I try to hang out with Major or Usagi as a means to avoid that. No, I do not partake in these incidents as I have no interest in such activities. However, it can be fun to watch them go nuts…until they try to start a bonfire in the building(true story). With my thoughts running wild I soon shuddered along with Major who was also aware of my roommates Chaotic streak.
As Major and I went in the building we decided to play Smash Bros. Melee as we walked to my room. As I stood in front of the door leading to my apartment, I unlocked the door and placed my hand on the handle. However, I felt a slight sense of trepidation and soon realized, “It’s too quiet…” Having said that, I steadily opened the door and peaked my head out and noticed, This entire place is a pig sty. There were articles of clothing all over the place along with the furniture moved around to obscure places along with a few other objects out of place. There was even a giant cardboard box taken out of our hall closet. I fully walked into the room to assess the place while Major soon followed suit. When I turned to my right, I noticed a girl the looked a tad sickly sitting near the sink, Looks like she had too much to drink.. Is what I was able to deduce based on the brief smell of alcohol. The girl herself was a friend of Shaggy, and became Carlos’s new friend with benefits. I truly didn’t care why she looked like hell, so I paid little attention to her. I looked at the sink and noticed one of my hand towels I used was in a questionable state, but I chose not to address the matter. I became a bit confused because based on the article of clothing and the amount of mess and chaos in the room, there should’ve been more people in the room but I only saw the girl and heard Carlos in his room. Not to mention I kept hearing another brief noise of some kind.
Major and I went in my room to relax and we were about to play video games till my roommate Carlos interrupted. “Hey, X mind if I talk to you outside for a minute.” Major and I were confused by his request but we walked outside with him anyway. Outside the door to my apartment Carlos starts to explain himself, “Yeah, you guys may want to leave.” Major and I both had puzzled looks on our face, I soon asked “why?”. “Well there is no easy way to say this” Carlos paused in a brief sigh and without hesitation, “There is an orgy going on in the closet”. A long period of silence followed, then the reality of Carlos’s words sunk in. Major and I both said in unison “What?”. Carlos merely just repeated himself stating that Shaggy brought some of his friends to engage in some “Fun”, which made me think, So that’s why the cardboard box was out and all the stuff was moved…..the faint noises!! Quickly regaining my senses I asked Carlos “Are you fucking kidding?! Like seriously?” I was in a state of disbelief. Carlos merely nodded his head at my intense outburst. “So that would explain the noises I kept hearing” Major said while his face looked grim, and was also surprised I wasn’t able to hear them as well. Turns out because of a previous endeavor, I was involved in, I had a momentary loss of hearing, which had some effect on me for the night. “So why haven’t you joined in?” I asked Carlos. As it turns out he was going to have sex, but the girl we had seen upon entering my room was too sick from drinking so they couldn’t. As to the reason he didn’t partake in the orgy itself, “X, I may be into some crazy shit, but I draw the line at having a four-way with 2 other guys” Carlos scoffed at. At least two of us have some sense here. Despit my thoughts, however I was enraged. So in a fit of rage, I merely proclaimed to Major, “Let’s get the hell out of here.” Thus I was sexiled from my own room…
Being unable to return to my room due to Shaggy’s intense fornication, Major and I were forced to wander around the apartment for something to do. We were bored stiff, and we didn’t find anything of interest. We went into the basement, hoping to find something, as the basement had the Laundry area and a public kitchen for all the other residents in the apartment. We went to the public kitchen, in hopes someone left some food behind in the fridge. As I was attempting to raid the fridge only to find nothing… “Yeah X, this is turning into a bust, I might go back to my place..” Major said a tad bit exhausted. Just as I was about to agree we ended up spotting a mutual friend of ours, Kevin. Kevin is mostly a friend of Major due to their love of sports, but after meeting Kevin a few times we began to get along as well. We occasionally meet with Kevin on various occasions and has helped us with a few projects before. Kevin was intensely watching a sports game on TV, which for the life of me cannot remember what, that he didn’t even notice us. So I thought it would a brilliant idea to sneak up behind him. Major and I split into two different directions to get the jump on Kevin. I silently crept behind, but Kevin turned around prematurely and saw me and ended up jumping in a bit of a fright. “What are you guys doing here?” Kevin asked. Major and I looked at each other briefly and thus I said, “I can’t go back to my room so I decided to walk around and maybe cause some chaos” “Haven’t you already caused enough?” Major said in a sigh. We eventually asked why Kevin was in the basement and he told us he was busy trying to write a paper while watching a game. Having not so fond memories when dealing with people doing writing assignments, I chose not to spend too much time addressing it.
About an hour into the conversation, I glanced at my watch noticing it was 11:00 pm. “You think they’re done yet Major” I asked casually. Major only shrugged and shook his head saying, “I rather not find out”. Kevin, being lost in our exchange, asked, “What’s going on with you guys?” I relented and told him the whole reason Major and I were in the basement. “Ew….just ew” was all Kevin could say after the explanation. I couldn’t help but feel the sheer annoyance and disgust show on my face. “Let’s go back Major..” Feeling annoyed I decided to go back to my room. Major was a bit hesitant, but the plan was that I get my Gamecube so we can at least play Smash Bros. Melee and other games while that annoying act was going on. After telling the plan, Major agreed but still wasn’t too keen on going back to that hole. “Well Kevin, we’ll be taking our leave now, but we’ll be back” I said this in a casual grin. “Good Luck guy” last thing Kevin said before we departed.
Back in front of my apartment door, Major and I nod our heads and I open the door. Similar to before I peeked my head through the door and looked around the place. There was no one immediately present, but the shower was running and the place was in even more of a mess. Realizing we had limited time, Major and I both went inside my room to get the items we were after. However, I couldn’t help but notice the sudden appearance of banana peels around the place. Don’t tell me they…!! I soon perished the thought as it had little to do with me. “You guys came back?” Carlos said in astonishment. “We only came here to get my stuff and we are out.” I said in a haste as I continued to gather my things. “Good, because they are about to go at it again.” What?” Major and I ejaculated, thus Carlos explained. Apparently, things got a thousand times more hectic since Major and I initially left. According to Carlos, they almost went inside my personal room and took out my bed to help them in their sex party. I nearly dropped my Gamecube controller upon hearing those words. Sensing my rage building, Carlos kept saying, “Don’t worry I stopped them from going anywhere in your room, sheesh I have to babysit these guys all night.” I thanked Carlos for keeping my personal space secure but before I could get comfortable, Carlos sprung some more bad news on us. “Guys if you are leaving to get your stuff, you may wanna make it quick because the moment the shower ends boobs are going to start flying all over again.” “OK, time to leave Major.” I said gathering the stuff. Before we left the room, We told Carlos we will be in the basement playing games if he needed us.
Returning to the basement, Kevin greets us with a “Welcome back guys”. So without wasting any time we set up the Gamecube and began playing Smash Bros; for a while. After a while of my continuous victories. Eventually, Carlos showed up to play a few with us, but not before he complained about his apparent exhaustion, “X, I managed to put everybody to bed before leaving…jeez it was a chore babysitting them” After hearing that I exclaimed, “They are spending the night in our room?!” “Yeah, I think I’ll pass on spending the night here” Major added tentatively. Basically, while we were playing, Carlos told us all the random nonsense that took place along with the fact our room had become an even bigger mess than usual and don’t get me started on the smell. After hearing the gruesome details, I was left horrified only able to imagine the kinds of horrors that were awaiting me. Few hours went by and during that we all shared stories of what we did during the day. Carlos got caught with his girl, trying to sneak into a nearby concert. Hearing this Major glanced at me and said to Carlos, “Well I heard other people tried to sneak in as well.” I smirked at the comment, but that’s a spoiler. Major and I were eating at a Barbecue, and Kevin didn’t do much at all except work on his paper. Before long Carlos decided to leave as well and head up to bed, and around 4 in the morning Major and I decided to turn in….
For the third time Major and I went back to my room only to return my stuff to the proper place. The moment we stepped in, a musky smell forced its way into our nostrils and it looked like Armageddon hit this place. I had to hold my breath, gasping for air, trying to breath until I was in my bedroom, where I immediately opened a window for fresh air. Major was gagging wondering what the hell transpired. There was banana peels everywhere, a rotting apple core in the sink, article of clothing everywhere, dirt and mud clogging up the sink, and let’s not forget that funky smell. Major once again concluded he was no longer gonna stay over so walked to his car and saw him off. 4:40 am and I am back in the room; when I entered I slipped on a slimy and sticky appearance, my eyes flared up as I looked to see what I slipped on. Thankfully it was only a banana peel I slipped on, I thanked God above that it wasn’t a more bodily fluid I slipped on. I then tried to brush my teeth, while doing so I couldn’t help but see one of my bathing towels out on the sink looking very worn out and used. What the hell?! Wanting answers, I walked to the shower room to see the aftermath. What I saw was everybody’s body wash and other toiletries were on the ground along with several pairs of underwear(none of which were mine). I stared at the mess with a blank expression, but soon twisted into a grim smile when I realized that my towels were used in the incident. Turns out after I complained about it, Shaggy and Carlos told me that one was used to clean vomit, while the other was used by Shaggy’s friend in order dry himself, thinking the towels were Shaggy’s. My eye’s roared with rage only the red devil would know, but I managed to contain my anger. The moral of this story folks, when you get assigned roommates, BE SURE TO ASK FOR QUIET PEOPLE TO LIVE WITH!!
Well folks, that is my story of my insufferable roommates. They weren’t all bad in honesty….In some cases they were worse. Though I eventually came to the conclusion that Carlos was the most sane one while Shaggy was out there. What of you, my lovely readers? Have you ever had to deal with crazy roommates like Shaggy and Carlos..or worse? I’m always curious to hear others accounts. Personally, I don’t hate my old roommates they gave me a story to write and they can be fun to hang around with when we are playing video games. In any case that is my tale, did you love it or hate it? Please feel free to like and share my work if you deem it worthy. Now, that is it for me Ladies and Gentlemen, and if you will excuse me, I, Mr.X, must prepare for the coming summer events(no pun intended). SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ENTRY.
All props for the Picture go to ZD.Inc